“Hello my name is Pain! And this is my friend Ache. Yeah, we hang out a lot. If you had to describe us, we’d be..what do you think Ache? Uncomfortable, distracting and…ooh so good? Yeah that’s it.
“We’re here to congratulate you on some great workouts this week! I mean, man, those planks! You really pushed yourself there!”
“What’s that? Your arm hurts? Like the muscles are tense? Haha! Oh that’s just because you’re not used to working your upper body. Don’t worry, you won’t feel that when you’re not so fat…I mean..when you have more muscle.
“Geez! Do you EVER stop complaining? Of course your abs hurt. You’re building your nonexistent core. You look like you forgot to take off the inner tube when you left the pool. What’s next? You can’t sit down right because your legs hurt? You quit because to you think you pulled a muscle in your lung?
“C’mon girl, we’re going to be around a lot because you have a ton of work to do. We can be really nice if you treat us nice, and we can be really mean if you keep hating us.
“Yes you are are hating on us! We see the way you look at us, and we don’t like it! Ache, can you believe little Mrs. Chubby over here? We’re only reminding her that all her sweat and exhaustion are paying off!
“‘Thats more like it. We knew you’d come around. No Pain, no gain right? Shut up Ache, that was totally funny.